Introduction
Have you ever made a big life decision—career move, relationship choice, major purchase—only to feel uneasy afterward? That lingering discomfort often comes from one source: misaligned values. If you don’t know what truly matters to you, how can you know if you’re living in alignment?
Learning how to discover your core values is one of the most transformative personal growth steps you can take. It helps you filter decisions, clarify your path, and build self-trust.
This post walks you through a step-by-step framework to uncover your real values—not the ones society hands you, but the ones that feel deeply true to you.
1. Understand What Core Values Are (And Aren’t)
Before learning how to discover your core values, it’s crucial to know what values really are. Core values are the deep, guiding principles that shape how you think, feel, and act. They’re not goals or preferences; they’re the why behind what drives you.
Some examples:
- Freedom — choosing autonomy over structure
- Connection — prioritizing deep relationships
- Growth — always seeking learning and improvement
- Simplicity — valuing clarity, minimalism, and peace
Values are not the same as habits or personality traits. You can be introverted but value community. You might be disorganized yet still value excellence.
Think of values like a compass. You might get lost or take detours, but your values always point you toward your true north.
Feeling disconnected from your values? You may be living on autopilot without realizing it. Here’s how to snap out of it.
2. Reflect on Peak and Low Moments
To uncover how to discover your core values, start with your life’s emotional highs and lows. Your reactions to meaningful experiences reveal what matters most to you.
Ask yourself:
- When did I feel most alive and fulfilled?
- When was I angry, disappointed, or betrayed?
- What did I love doing as a child before expectations shaped me?
Exercise:
Write down 3 peak moments and 3 painful ones. For each, answer:
- What was happening?
- Who was involved?
- What value was being honored—or violated?
You’ll start noticing patterns. For example, if your happiest memory was a solo backpacking trip, freedom or exploration might be one of your core values.
3. Use a Core Values List—but Make It Personal
Many people use a pre-made values list to begin the discovery process. That’s a great tool—but don’t rely on it blindly. The key to how to discover your core values is internal awareness, not external approval.
Here’s a simple 3-step process:
- Skim a long list of values (like this Brené Brown values list)
- Circle every word that resonates
- Narrow it down to your Top 5
Once you have your top 5, define what each value means to you. For example:
- Integrity = Doing what I say I’ll do, even when it’s inconvenient.
- Creativity = Bringing ideas to life through words, design, or strategy.
Your values only serve you when they’re personalized and emotionally charged.
If you’re unsure about your values, a personal self audit can give you clarity fast.
4. Rank Your Values by Priority
Here’s the tricky part: some of your values may clash. You might value security and adventure—but not all decisions support both. That’s why understanding how to discover your core values isn’t just about listing them—it’s about ranking them.
Ask:
- If I had to choose between two values, which would I pick?
- Which value shows up in my daily actions, not just my ideal self?
Ranking helps when you’re at a crossroads—because clarity trumps confusion. It lets you say no with confidence, knowing you’re saying yes to something that aligns more deeply.
5. Test Your Values in Real Life
Once you’ve identified your top 3–5 core values, don’t let them sit in a journal. Test them out.
Example:
If you say you value growth, are you reading, learning, and stretching yourself weekly?
If you claim authenticity, are you speaking up or still people-pleasing?
When you begin aligning your choices with your core values—even in small ways—you’ll feel a shift: more energy, less regret, and a deeper sense of self-trust.
Core values aren’t static—they evolve as you grow. Revisit and refine them yearly, just like updating a map as your destination changes.
Modern success isn’t about more—it’s about alignment with your core values. Read more at Success in 2025.
Final Thoughts: Values Shape Your Life—Whether You Know Them or Not
The truth is, you’re already living by values—whether they’re yours or borrowed from someone else. Learning how to discover your core values is about reclaiming your power and making intentional choices that reflect who you truly are.
It doesn’t make life easier overnight. But it does make your decisions clearer, your direction stronger, and your life infinitely more aligned. When you fully understand how to discover your core values, you stop drifting and start leading a life that feels grounded, meaningful, and uniquely yours.